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Roadmap to Change

1/21/2018

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Changing is a fact of life. We are changing all the time whether we want to or not. Some changes are forced on us and others we can be co creators with.  Here are some steps you can take today to overcome challenges in your life.

Steps to Change in Wellness Coaching

1. Recognize something is not working in your life.
This may sound elementary but honestly it can be the hardest step.  To fully admit your life is not working for you in some area can feel defeating.  After all, it’s not like you haven’t tried all sorts of ways to fix this pesky challenge, yet it still persists.

2. Write out what is not working at the top of a page. 

Get really specific on what the problem is. Don’t try to work on ALL your issues at once.  Simply pick one. 

​Now answer these questions surrounding the issue.

  • What are my behaviors that led to this problem?
  • What are the consequences of this problem in my life?
  • What have I tried to do already to fix this? Why didn't it work for me?
  • How do I feel about this problem?
  • How do I feel about the process of changing it?
  • What would my life look like if this problem was fixed?


​Example: This is only one example. Your problem and answers could be totally different!
 
Problem (specific)– I have gained 30 pounds in the last 2 years.

Behaviors: I eat at restaurants 2 times a week or more. I use food as a reward for a hard day at work.  I snack while I am watching TV at night.  I eat dessert at almost every meal.  I eat when I am stressed.  I eat even though I am not truly hungry.

Consequences: I can’t fit into the clothes I once loved to wear.  I am increasing my risk of chronic diseases such as type 2 diabetes and heart disease. I am unfairly believed to be lazy because I am overweight.

What have I already done to fix this and why didn’t it work (specific)?
I tried skipping breakfast all month to lesson my calories. I ended up eating more later in the day.  I started walking on the treadmill 3 times a week for 30 minutes but didn’t change my eating habits. I tried a low-calorie diet but kept forgetting to track my calories and eventually stopped. 

How do I feel about this weight gain?
I feel shameful and worry the gaining won’t stop.  I feel defeated, like a failure.  I feel sad that I don’t feel sexy anymore.  I feel grossed out when I look in the mirror.

How do I feel about the process of changing it?
I feel fearful. I have tried things in the past and nothing seems to work. I fear I don’t have the self-discipline I need to change. I worry I will gain it back anyway.  I feel confused and overwhlmed about the right diet for me.  I feel sad at the thought of giving up the foods I love to eat.

What would my life look like if I lost the 30 pounds?
I would get back into the Jeans I use to love to wear. I would feel proud of myself for lowering my risk of disease.  I would have more energy. I would feel more in control of the food I eat.  I would feel sexy.  I would feel confident again.

3. Look over everything you just wrote and ask yourself if this problem is really worth changing at this time in your life.
​Do the benefits really seem worth the work of change?  Sometimes, it’s not.  We have a lot to deal with and in the end some things are best to tackle at a less stressful time.  If you do feel like the benefits outweigh the consequences, fantastic you are ready to start!
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4.Now it’s time to make a plan. A plan is just a goal thought out.  Its best to write it! 
  • My Goal?
  • When will I start?
  • Time line to reach my goal?
  • Who will I tell about my goal?
  • What is my specific motivation?
  • How will I educate myself about this change?
  • Specific behaviors I am going to change to reach my goal?
  • How will I deal with the uncomfortable feelings that come up when I make these changes?
  • What limiting beliefs do I have that might pose a problem as I am changing my behavior?  What thoughts can I replace them with?
  • What will I do differently this time than in the past?
  • How will I keep myself on track every day?
  • How will I monitor my progress?
  • What will I do when I encounter a setback or relapse? How can I use failure to propel me to move forward instead of staying stagnant?
  • What will I do to celebrate mini accomplishments and how often will I reward myself?

Change is all about self-discovery.  You learn things about yourself with every change you make and one victory will lead to new beliefs that you can overcome more challenges in your life.  Change is not linear and perfect.  The failures can help you assess what does and doesn’t work for you.  The key is to not give up. 

You may try 94 times but when it works the 95th time you will be glad you kept going.
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    Author

    Melissa is the Author of Healing Through the Pain How I overcame Interstitial Cystitis. She writes about health (physical, emotional and spiritual) from a vulnerable place, after overcoming Interstitial Cystitis and still battling emotional illness. She is passionate about helping women realize their ability to make changes and move forward from difficult situations in their lives.

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